Knowing the Equality of Self and Others

There are two different kinds of equanimity taught in Buddhism. They differ in their causes, and in their results, as I will outline here…

 


The first kind of equanimity, as taught in the Theravada, is in the Four Immeasurables – of universal love, compassion, sympathetic joy, and a balance of mind that is unshaken by whatever it meets.

A verse that is often referred to at this point is

All are owners of their karma,
heirs to their karma;
they abide supported by their karma,
and whether they experience happiness or suffering
depends on their their own actions…

Out of love and compassion, we can certainly aim to uplift, care for, and share our knowledge of the Way with others, but no one can do the work for another, as hard as this may be to accept at times.

If someone could do the work completely for others, after all, it would only have taken one wise and compassionate person in history, like the Buddha or Jesus, and all our problems would have been solved, but this is not the case. The way that enlightened beings help us is to give us teachings, and all the encouragement and inspiration we need. Ultimately then, it’s up to the individual. Practicing correctly is your own responsibility, as they say.

To clarify, Ajahn Pasanno said

True equanimity does not hinder compassion or action, but rather enhances it by developing the discernment that knows how and when to engage.

A certain equanimity comes from knowing this. It is a wise and balanced state of mind, a real accomplishment of understanding how practice works.

It’s taught that, following mindfulness, investigation, energy, enthusiastic joy, peace, and concentration,

Equanimity is the culminating point of the Factors of Enlightenment.

One is non-reactive, or unshaken by whatever arises, and there is acceptance and clarity, going forward.

The way that equanimity is taught in Tibetan Buddhism is a bit more of a challenge to explain, but this is necessary if we are going to understand and practice the teachings as they have come down to us from this Tradition.

Although there is peace, and a steadiness of mind that we generally call ‘equanimity’, here it has different causes, and very different applications, going forward.

Equanimity in the Tibetan Tradition means seeing the equality of self and others. It comes from reflecting deeply on the ways we are essentially the same. This can be quite challenging, because, what do we see being emphasized all around us, especially these days? It is our differences, and discrimination based on race and class, gender, and sexual orientation; it is our differences in nationality, religious or political beliefs, being rich or poor, or having more or less of an education. When this is almost all that we see and hear about, we feel separate from each other, without any sense of our common interests, or responsibility for one another.

So what do we have in common? All of us without exception want to be free from suffering, and to find lasting happiness. We all have the right to this, and according to Buddhism, we all have this potential.

In addition, what so many people do with the aim of finding happiness, such as using drugs or living a hedonistic lifestyle, in fact leads to only more suffering and confusion.

As Shantideva said:

Although wishing to be rid of misery,
They run towards misery itself.
Although wishing to have happiness,
Like an enemy they ignorantly destroy it

Isn’t this so? Just look around…

When we see the equality of self and all others, the way we view our own life changes, and the scope of our practice broadens immeasurably. We know how we would want to be treated, and how we would want our beloved family to be treated. In the teachings they call this ‘the exchange of self for others’, something we’re universally familiar with. It’s there in every religion and code of ethics.

Seeing the equality of self and others, we feel a kinship with them. There is the feeling that –

These are my very own family crossing rivers,
crossing oceans on poor, overcrowded boats,
they are crossing deserts, leaving everything they have ever known behind
to escape hardship;

these are my family under bridges, with almost nothing
and sleeping in parks, and on sidewalks…

They are infinitely precious to me…
infinitely precious… infinitely precious…

– and how far this is from the disconnect and callous indifference that is so common these days!

We waste millions on the military, and on superficial entertainments, while there are such needs here on our streets, and in other places.

Why is there so much inequality? Why is there hunger? Why is there so much poverty and lack, when these things really could be changed?

Where is our heart?

High and low, young and old, rich and poor, educated, uneducated, male and female, people of all races and nationalities everywhere- we are all companions here. This naturally leads to wanting others to be free from all dangers and difficulties, and to enjoy every happiness. It naturally leads to wanting to care for and support all others – known and unknown to us – in any way we can. We are all fundamentally equal.

It’s said that a person who understands this deeply will react the same way to a person on one side showering them with praise, and someone on the other side hurling abuse. We can call this loving equanimity an even tempered impartiality towards people or situations. It is being without bias, or indifference.

As Buddhists, or people of any faith tradition, or simply as people who think and feel deeply, and have some insight into problems and their resolution, of course we then feel we have something precious to give others. Naturally, we want to share whatever has been most helpful to us in our own lives.

From the mind and heart that sees the equality of self and others arises the sense of responsibility to do what we can for them. How can we ever turn away from those who, just like ourselves, seek only happiness?

And when a person at last sees, or even just hears about a way out of the round of samsara, {this uncontrolled cycle through various realms with so much sorrow}, naturally we see ourselves and our practice in relation to others. What is then called the Special Intention in the Tibetan Tradition is an awakening of a clear and strong feeling of responsibility for others. Our motivation matures, as it would for someone with a family, aiming to provide for them, and we practice inclusively for self and others, without any separation.

As part of the Four Immeasurables, of universal love, compassion, and sympathetic joy, equanimity or impartiality here sees that,

All are equal in deserving our respect, our love and our care

and there is so much need.

The peace and stability here, that unshakable quality of mind, is also born of our dedication to caring for others in the best of ways.

For as long as it takes,
no matter what it costs,
no matter how difficult it may be…

Having universal love and compassion, giving equal love and care to every person and living being brings composure and inner strength. We are all in.
We can call this a kind of equanimity, with these causes, and these results.

* * *

Knowing the equality of self and others is a fundamental practice, and is the basis for much that follows in the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition. Without it, the all inclusive Mahayana – Great Vehicle motivations and practices are not complete. This needs to be meditated upon deeply.

They say that before we can awaken the heart mind of bodhicitta – the mind intent on enlightenment for the sake of all, we need to have this realization. Without it, practice would be biased towards friends and helpful people, and neglectful towards those who either don’t do anything for us personally, or who oppose us in some way.

I’m thinking now that, of course, this vital point of the equality of self and others should always be clear.

This is not talked about often enough these days, so I thought to write out these few thoughts on the subject.

May I think of all beings with great love and compassion,
and generate the supreme awakening mind
May I think of them all as my family, and care for them all as my own

May all beings have happiness
and the causes of happiness flourishing…

May all beings be completely free from suffering
and the causes of suffering…

I rejoice in all that is beautiful and right in this world,
in all kindness, virtue, and positive action,
and in all success, happiness, and good fortune…

and abide in impartial love and compassion…

May all beings everywhere,
all precious ones,
receive everything they need to become liberated
from all problems and difficulties,
and may each and every one of them enjoy lasting happiness,
freedom and peace